How I Got Out of the “Why Not Me?” Loop

Source: Dev.to

The Trigger

I opened LinkedIn and saw someone land a job at Google. For a moment I felt like I was doing everything wrong. Jealousy is the thief of joy.

Getting Stuck in Comparison

One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is to stop comparing myself to other developers. Every developer has their own journey, and everyone follows a different path.

I usually don’t compare myself to others, but there are moments when you feel stuck and suddenly everyone else seems to be moving forward. You start asking yourself:

• “Am I doing it wrong?”
• “Why am I not getting shortlisted?”
• “What is the reason for my failures?”
• “Am I even worth it?”

These doubts began early in my developer journey. I learned HTML, CSS, JavaScript, and then moved to React. I wanted to get better, but I fell into tutorial hell—watching one video after another, each creator claiming their career path was the only right one.

I saw people leaving big‑tech jobs to start YouTube channels or sell courses, with thumbnails screaming “Why I left Google” or “Why I quit Microsoft.” Meanwhile, I was just trying to figure out how to break into the industry.

One night I refreshed my inbox: another rejection. That moment made me realize the problem wasn’t my effort; it was my thinking.

The Realization

Applying at night, receiving rejection emails in the morning, then scrolling LinkedIn to see someone else succeed—this loop kept me stuck. I lacked mentors and stopped reaching out to college contacts. Most of my guidance came from ChatGPT helping with resumes and projects.

My interest in frontend led me to Awwwards, where I was amazed by the design, creativity, and interactions of showcased sites. I wanted to understand not just the code but the mindset behind those creations.

Changing the Mindset

The story doesn’t have a perfect ending where I completely stopped comparing. Comparison is natural. What changed is how I react to it.

• Intensity lowered: I began focusing on what I can control—reading, writing, building, learning.
• Progress as clarity: The more I built, the less I compared, because progress gives clarity, and clarity kills doubt.

Comparison will always exist, but I now treat it as a signal that I need to improve, not as a reason to doubt myself.

Practical Steps I Took

• Stopped measuring progress against other people’s timelines.
• Reduced LinkedIn scrolling and increased building time.
• Started writing what I learn instead of consuming endlessly.
• Focused on small wins rather than big expectations.
• Treated comparison as feedback, not failure.
• Built projects even when they felt imperfect.
• Asked questions instead of staying stuck.
• Tracked my own progress weekly.
• Learned from others without trying to become them.
• Reminded myself why I started.

Conclusion

Comparison doesn’t slow your progress; it makes you forget that you’re already making some. I still compare sometimes, but now I don’t let it define me. I use it to adjust, not to doubt. The goal isn’t to be better than others; it’s to be better than who I was yesterday.

What is the one thing that helped you stop comparing yourself to others?