Drugwars for the TI-82/83/83 Calculators (2011)
Published: (March 19, 2026 at 08:26 PM EDT)
5 min read
Source: Hacker News
Source: Hacker News
Lbl G
ClrHome
Disp " J.M.'S DRUGWAR"," SIMULATION",""," VERSION 2.00",""," JUST SAY NO."
2000→Z
5000→Y
0→V
100→K
1→B
2→N
0→I
0→J
100→T
0→M
0→N
0→O
0→P
0→Q
0→R
Pause
ClrHome
Disp "","ORIGINAL GAME","FOR IBM BY:"," JOHN E. DELL",""
Disp "INSTRUCTIONS?"
Input "(1=YES,2=NO)",X
If X=1
Then
ClrHome
Disp "THIS IS A GAME","OF BUYING AND","SELLING. YOUR","GOAL IS TO PAY-","OFF YOUR DEBT TO","THE LOAN SHARK,","AND THEN MAKE AS"
Pause
ClrHome
Disp "MUCH MONEY AS","POSSIBLE IN A 1","MONTH PERIOD.","WATCH-OUT FOR","THE POLICE IF","YOU DEAL TOO","HEAVILY!"
Pause
ClrHome
Disp "PRICES FOR DRUGS","ARE:","COCAINE:","15000-28000","HEROINE:","5000-12000","ACID: 1000-4200"
Pause
Disp "WEED: 300-720","SPEED: 70-220","LUDES: 10-50"
Pause
ClrHome
Disp "GENERALY, TYPE","THE FIRST LETTER","OF WHAT YOU WANT","TO DO, I.E.:","W=WEED, L=LUDES","ETC..."
Pause
Disp "BUT, 1=YES AND","2=NO"
Pause
ClrHome
Disp "THE LAST NUMBER","IN THE PRICES","LIST IS YOUR","WALLET. THE LAST","NUMBER IN YOUR","TRENCHCOAT IS","FREE SPACE."
Pause
End
Lbl θ
round(rand*12000+16000,0)→C
round(rand*7000+5000,0)→H
round(rand*34+10,0)*100→A
round(rand*42+33,0)*10→W
round(rand*15+7,0)*10→S
round(rand*4+1,0)*10→L
round(rand*20,0)→D
If D=1
Then
ClrHome
Disp "RIVAL DEALERS","ARE SELLING","CHEAP LUDES!!!"
Pause
2→L
End
If D=2
Then
ClrHome
Disp "WEED PRICES HAVE","BOTTOMED-OUT!!!"
Pause
122→W
End
If D=3
Then
ClrHome
Disp "PIGS ARE SELLING","CHEAP HEROINE","FROM LAST WEEK'S","RAID!!!!"
Pause
rand→H
(850+(H*1150))→H
(int(H)→H
End
If D=4 or D=5
Then
ClrHome
Disp "ADDICTS ARE","BUYING HEROINE","AT OUTRAGEOUS","PRICES!!!"
Pause
rand→H
(18000+(H*25000))→H
(int(H)→H
End
If D=6 or D=7
Then
ClrHome
Disp "PIGS MADE A BIG","COKE BUST!","PRICES ARE","OUTRAGEOUS!!!!"
Pause
rand→C
(80000+(C*60000))→C
(int(C)→C
End
If D=8
Then
ClrHome
Disp "YOU WERE MUGGED","IN THE SUBWAY!"
Pause
(Z/3)→Z
(int(Z)→Z
(Z*2)→Z
End
If D=15 and Zù300
Then
ClrHome
Disp "WILL YOU BUY A","NEW TRENCHCOAT","WITH MORE","POCKETS FOR 200","BUCKS?"
Input X
If X=1
Then
(T+10)→T
(T-M-N-O-P-Q-R)→K
(Z-200)→Z
End
End
If D=14
Then
ClrHome
Disp "THERE'S SOME","WEED HERE THAT","SMELLS LIKE GOOD","STUFF!!"
Pause
Disp "WILL YOU SMOKE"
Input "IT?",X
If X=1
Then
ClrHome
Disp "YOU HALLUCINATE","ON THE WILDEST","TRIP OF YOUR","LIFE,"
Pause
Disp "STUMBLE ON TO","THE SUBWAY","TRACKS AND GET","CREAMED BY A","TRAIN."
Pause
ClrHome
Disp "JUST SAY NO TO","DRUGS."
Pause
Goto C
End
End
If Zù500 and Kù5
Then
If D=12 or D=13
Then
ClrHome
Disp "WILL YOU BUY A"
round(rand*2,0)→X
If X=0
Disp "BARRETTA"
If X=1
Disp "SATURDAY NIGHT","SPECIAL"
If X=2
Disp ".44 MAGNUM"
Disp "FOR 400 DOLLARS?"
Input X
If X=1
Then
(I+1)→I
(Z-400)→Z
(T-5)→T
(T-M-N-O-P-Q-R)→K
End
End
End
If D=16 and Kù8
Then
int((rand*7+1)→F
ClrHome
Disp "YOU FOUND:",F,"UNITS OF:"
int((rand*5)→X
If X=0
Then
Disp " LUDES"
(R+F)→R
End
If X=1
Then
Disp " SPEED"
(Q+F)→Q
End
If X=2
Then
Disp " WEED"
(P+F)→P
End
If X=3
Then
Disp " ACID"
(O+F)→O
End
If X=4
Then
Disp " HEROINE"
(N+F)→N
End
If X=5
Then
Disp " COCAINE"
(M+F)→M
End
Disp "ON A DEAD DUDE","IN THE SUBWAY!!!"
(T-M-N-O-P-Q-R)→K
Pause
Goto A
End
If D=17
Then
ClrHome
Disp "THE MARKET HAS","BEEN FLOODED","WITH CHEAP HOME-","MADE ACID!!!!"
int((250+(rand*550))→A
Pause
Goto A
End
If D=9 or D=10 or D=11
Then
If (M+N+O+P+Q+R)ù50
Then
ClrHome
If D=9
1→D
If D=10
3→D
If D=11
4→D
Disp "OFFICER HARDASS","AND",D,"OF HIS DEPPUTIES","ARE AFTER YOU!"
Pause
ClrHome
Lbl M
Menu("BEING CHASED!!","VIEW GUNS",H,"VIEW DAMMAGE",I,"NUMBER OF PIGS",J,"RUN",K,"FIGHT",L)
Lbl H
ClrHome
Disp "NUMBER OF GUNS","YOU HAVE:"
Disp I
Pause
Goto M
Lbl I
ClrHome
Disp "YOUR DAMMAGE="
Disp J
Disp "(50 DAMMAGE AND","YOU DIE!)"
Pause
Goto M
Lbl J
ClrHome
Disp "THERE ARE:"
(D+1)→D
Disp D
(D-1)→D
Disp "PIGS STILL","CHASING YOU!"
Pause
Goto M
Lbl K
ClrHome
Disp "","","",""," RUNNING"
round(rand*1,0)→X
If X=0
Then
ClrHome
Disp "YOU LOST THEM IN","AN ALLEY!!"
Pause
If B=31
Then
Goto A
Else
Goto θ
End
End
If X=1
Then
ClrHome
Disp "YOU CAN'T SHAKE","THEM!"
Pause
Goto O
End
Lbl L
If I=0
Then
ClrHome
Disp "YOU DON'T HAVE","ANY GUNS!"
Pause
Disp "YOU HAVE TO RUN!"
Pause
Goto M
Else
round(rand*1,0)→X
If X=0
Then
ClrHome
Disp "YOU MISSED!!!"
Pause
Else
ClrHome
Disp "YOU KILLED ONE!!"
Pause
(D-1)→D
If D=(ú1)
Goto N
End
Lbl O
round(rand*1,0)→X
ClrHome
Disp "THEY'RE FIRING","AT YOU!!"
If X=0
Then
Disp "THEY MISSED!!"
Pause
Goto M
Else
Disp "YOU'VE BEEN HIT!"
(J+3)→J
Pause
If Jù50
Then
Disp "YOU'VE BEEN ","KILLED!!"
Pause
Goto C
End
Goto M
End
Lbl N
ClrHome
Disp "YOU KILLED ALL","OF THEM!"
int((rand*1250+750)→X
(Z+X)→Z
Pause
Disp "YOU FOUND"
Disp X
Disp "DOLLARS ON","OFFICER HARDASS'","CARCASS!!"
Pause
If Zù1200
Then
ClrHome
Disp "WILL YOU PAY","1000 DOLLARS FOR","A DOCTOR TO SEW","YOU UP?"
Input X
If X=1
Then
(Z-1000)→Z
0→J
End
End
End
End
End
Lbl A
ClrHome
Menu("DRUGWAR!","SEE PRICES",1,"TRENCHCOAT",2,"BUY",3,"SELL",4,"JET",5,"SEE LOAN SHARK",6,"VISIT BANK",7)
Lbl 1
ClrHome
Disp C,H,A,W,S,L,Z
Output(1,1,"COCAINE")
Output(2,1,"HEROINE")
Output(3,1,"ACID")
Output(4,1,"WEED")
Output(5,1,"SPEED")
Output(6,1,"LUDES")
Output(7,1,"WALLET")
Pause
Goto A
Lbl 2
ClrHome
Disp M,N,O,P,Q,R,K
Output(1,1,"COCAINE")
Output(2,1,"HEROINE")
Output(3,1,"ACID")
Output(4,1,"WEED")
Output(5,1,"SPEED")
Output(6,1,"LUDES")
Output(7,1,"FREE SPACE")
Pause
Goto A
Lbl 3
ClrHome
Disp "DAY NUMBER:",B
Input "WHAT TO BUY?",F
If FøC and FøH and FøA and FøW and FøS and FøL
Goto 3
int((Z/F)→E
Disp "HOW MUCH?","YOU CAN AFFORD:",E,"YOU CAN HOLD:",K
Input G
If G>K or GE
Goto 3
(Z-(FG))→Z
If F=C
(M+G)→M
If F=H
(N+G)→N
If F=A
(O+G)→O
If F=W
(P+G)→P
If F=S
(Q+G)→Q
If F=L
(R+G)→R
(T-M-N-O-P-Q-R)→K
Goto A
Lbl 4
ClrHome
Disp "DAY NUMBER:",B
Input "WHAT TO SELL?",F
If FøC and FøH and FøA and FøW and FøS and FøL
Goto 4
If F=C
M→E
If F=H
N→E
If F=A
O→E
If F=W
P→E
If F=S
Q→E
If F=L
R→E
Disp "HOW MUCH?","YOU HAVE:",E
Input G
If G>E or GZ or FY
Goto 6
(Y-F)→Y
(Z-F)→Z
Goto A
Lbl Q
ClrHome
Disp "YOUR DEBT=",Y,"YOUR WALLET=",Z,"BORROW HOW MUCH"
Input "MORE?",F
If F>5000
Then
ClrHome
Disp "YOU THINK HE'S","CRAZY, MAN?!"
Pause
Goto Q
End
If FZ or GV or X100
100→V
End
round(V,0)→V
Disp "YOUR SCORE (ON A","SCALE OF 1 TO","100)=",V,""
Pause
Input "PLAY AGAIN?",V
If V=1
Goto G
ClrHome
Disp " THANKS FOR"," PLAYING!"
Pause
ClrHome
Disp "","","REMEMBER:","","WATCH YOUR BACK."
Pause
Disp "","HAVE A NICE DAY!"