Day 13: When Login Fails and Isolation Stays
Source: Dev.to
Technical Difficulties
Day 13 and I couldn’t do my LeetCode problem. Before you think the streak broke again, there was actually something wrong with LeetCode itself—I couldn’t log in at all, so it wasn’t my fault this time.
Reflections on Streaks and Isolation
It’s weird how much you start caring about these streaks even when you tell yourself the number doesn’t matter. When you can’t do something because of technical issues, it feels different than just not doing it.
I wonder sometimes if that’s healthy or if I’m just finding a socially acceptable way to self‑destruct. Probably doesn’t matter as long as it keeps me moving.
- I’ve been thinking self‑hate might get the better of me this time.
- Maybe this isolation is gonna last longer than previous phases because people are genuinely draining me now.
- It’s not even that they’re bad people—they’re just… exhausting.
Every interaction feels like it takes something from me that I don’t have to give. So I pull back, and then I’m alone, and then the self‑hate gets louder because there’s nothing to distract from it.
I didn’t want it to be like this. But whatever, I’ll just work through it. Code doesn’t drain you the same way people do. Problems have solutions. Equations don’t expect emotional labor.
Some days you can quiet the thoughts with work. Some days they’re just louder than everything else and you’re trying to function anyway. Today was the latter.
Workout and Coping
Did scikit‑learn work again? Hit the workout, obviously. The workout is the only place where I can actually use all this hate productively—channel it into something that at least makes my body stronger even if everything else feels like it’s falling apart.
Progress
- Day 13 done.
- Scikit‑learn progress made.
- Head still loud.
- Work continues regardless.