CES 2026: Why the 'Smart Home' is Becoming a Cyber Security Dumpster Fire
Source: Dev.to
Overview
Look, I am all for progress. I like fast internet and phones that don’t die in four hours as much as the next person. But after looking at the “innovation” coming out of CES 2026 this week, I have to ask: has the tech industry collectively lost its mind?
This entry is a bit of a rant. You’ve been warned.
It feels like we have moved past solving actual human problems and entered a phase of pure, unadulterated absurdity. We aren’t inventing the future anymore; we are just gluing Wi‑Fi chips to random household objects and hoping some venture capitalist or bored consumer falls for it.
Hearing Music Through Your Teeth?
The Lollipop Star is a real product: a nine‑dollar lollipop that uses bone conduction to play music inside your skull while you eat it. Who asked for this? Was there a focus group saying, “I love sugar, but I really wish I could hear a true‑crime podcast vibrating through my molars at the same time”? It feels more like something out of a dystopian movie than a consumer gadget, yet it’s available in strawberry and blue raspberry.
Your Bedding Is Judging You
The AI‑powered pillow detects your snoring and gently nudges you until you shift positions. On paper, it might “save the marriage.” In reality, it’s a five‑hundred‑dollar bag of foam that spends the entire night judging your respiratory system. It even generates a weekly “Sleep Efficiency Report,” which feels like a passive‑aggressive email from your bedding telling you you failed at being unconscious.
Chainsaws with Espresso (Vibrating Chef’s Knife)
The vibrating chef’s knife supposedly uses haptic feedback to tell you if you are slicing at the wrong angle. We took a sharp, dangerous blade and decided the best way to make it “smart” was to add unpredictable motorized shaking—like trying to improve a chainsaw by giving it a shot of espresso and a bad attitude.
The Cyber Nightmare of Smart Spoons
Since I usually talk about security here, I can’t help but look at the fine print. Every one of these gadgets requires an account, lives on your home network, and syncs to the cloud. We are building a world where your kitchen utensils have more permissions than your actual employees.
I can already see the future headlines: your smart spoon gets conscripted into a botnet to help a teenager in Latvia D‑DoS a government agency, or your smart chair locks you into a rigid, upright position because you forgot to pay your nine‑dollar monthly “Spine Plus” subscription. It isn’t just annoying; it’s a massive attack surface disguised as convenience.
The Subscription for Your Spine
We have reached a point of “solutionism” where companies invent complex, hackable answers to questions nobody ever asked. We used to look at these shows for the next big leap in processing power or a revolutionary display. Now we watch startups spend millions trying to reinvent the concept of a rock.
My advice? If it needs a firmware update to help you eat, sleep, or cut a carrot, you probably don’t need it. I’m sticking with my manual toothbrush. It doesn’t have an API, it doesn’t track my data, and it has never asked me to agree to a new set of Terms and Conditions just to clean my teeth.
Are you ready to let a piece of candy play Spotify in your jaw, or have we finally hit the limit of what we are willing to plug in?